Smelly cats and book signings are all in a week for The Yorkshire Vet

The cat was duly booked in for a check over. It reminded me of some wise words I once heard from an RSPCA vet on a BBC television series about vets, many years ago. A dog owner complained of a similar problem. As a veterinary trainee, I’d occasionally dip into this programme, in the hope of gleaning some useful tips. I can remember clearly the vet explaining that the smell might be coming from “His ears [a case of otitis]; his mouth- [stomatitis or halitosis]; his skin [dermatitis]; or his anal area [there is no veterinary terminology for this smell]”. Obviously, there are various smelly conditions which can emanate from this region. The vet then calmly examined each body part, carefully checking, and then sniffing, each area of the increasingly confused patient. Sadly, I don’t remember the eventual diagnosis. On reflection, the world of the “TV vet” has changed considerably since those days.

The case of the smelly cat also brought back more recent memories. Late one evening, at a practice where I used to work, a colleague was called to check over another “smelly cat”.

“He’s started to smell. So, we decided to give him a bath in the kitchen sink, but it hasn’t really made any difference,” explained the owners as they unloaded the cat from its box onto his consulting room table. Bizarrely, the cat was stiff as well as smelly and had evidently been deceased for some time, rigor mortis having set in. My colleague, according to his detailed clinical notes, carefully listened to the chest before confirming the obvious. What was less obvious, was whether the cat had died before or after its dunking in the kitchen sink. Was it smelly because it was dead or dead because it was smelly? We’ll never know the answer to this riddle. I’ll leave readers to speculate.

Later in my working week, I had another unusual experience. It didn’t involve any smelly animals. I was summoned to London for an appointment with a pile of almost one thousand books. Each one requiring my signature. My latest book- “Adventures with a Yorkshire Vet- Lambing Time and other Animal Tales” is out on 6th October. It’s an illustrated book, aimed at younger readers. I’ve received my complimentary ten copies already- an author’s perk- and, I have to say, the book looks lovely. The black and white line drawings are exceptional (thank you Jo Weaver), evocative and realistic.

I’ve signed many books over the last few years- more than I could ever have imagined- but never so many all at once. I remember fondly the very first one, which I did with trepidation, under the supervision of Sue at White Rose Book Café in Thirsk- the venue for each book launch.

“No, you need to sign it on the Title Page,” Sue explained. I knew nothing about title pages and remarked that I should be able to sign it wherever I liked: it was my book after all! But I followed her instructions and every book since I’ve inscribed on the right page.

The staff at Walker books were experienced in the process of bulk-signing and organised an efficient system, spare pens and an endless supply of strong cups of coffee. Three hours later, there was just a handful of books left and I had writer’s cramp and blurry eyes. It was worth it though and, happily for everyone, by book number seven, I’d achieved another publishing goal- a book with a front cover without my face on!