Don’t put off talking about mental health challenges until after Christmas - Matthew Smith

It's about accepting there will be tough times and perhaps sad moments during the festive period and putting things in place to deal with them. Don't wait until January to get into a 'good place'.

Christmas is about giving and the most important thing you can give yourself is the time and the space to ask - Where am I at? How am I feeling? And what can I do? And if you're feeling anxious, talk to someone.

Sometimes it is just about accepting that actually, Christmas might be a tough day and that's all right.

This week is the perfect time to prepare yourself for the lows that inevitably lie ahead for some of us and ensure you go into the new year in good shape mentally, and even physically.

This is the time of year when families come together, when we are supposed to drink and be merry, eat well and give and receive presents with our loved ones.

We all want to have a wonderful time but the reality - the stresses and the strains of bringing families together - is very different.

From the middle of November now, we are treated to the Christmas adverts but it is such a manufactured perception and it is in front of our faces in everything we do for the entire month; it's all about parties, celebrations, shopping, wrapping, presents and creating memories that will last a lifetime.

Social media also amplifies the message that we have to enjoy ourselves or there's something wrong with us.

It feels like real life stops at Christmas time and we live in a bubble of the expectation of happiness and feeling fulfilled because you will be surrounded by the people you want to be around.

The reality will be very different for many families this Christmas, particularly during this cost of living crisis, and with increasing numbers of families relying on food banks everyday of the year - not just on December 25.

We all have our family traditions on Christmas Day and in the build-up to the big day - and then how we will also spend Boxing Day, and the New Year period and continued festivities.

In our house, we get up, open the presents and meet my dad's side of the family in the pub and return to the house for Christmas dinner with my mum's side of the family - and then we head back to the pub.

And it is always a stark reminder that family traditions are difficult to keep up when one of your loved ones is not there.

The first Christmas without someone who has died by suicide is probably the hardest. But they're all hard.

It means coping with the empty chair, the presents that you want to buy the person who is missing, but you can no longer buy, and coping with the simple fact they're not there on what is supposed to be such a happy and joyous occasion.

And when everyone around you is surrounded with happiness and excitement, you can still feel this emptiness and sadness - perhaps even a feeling of guilt - because we're wired to think we should be happy and, deep down, we're not.

Christmas can also be an incredibly lonely time for people who live on their own and a time when their solitude is exacerbated by the misconception that everyone else is having a wonderful time. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

If U Care Share is a charity providing mental health, suicide prevention and support for families affected by suicide and our calls, leads and referrals actually really drop off over the Christmas period. And they increase significantly and peak in January and February.

In our experience, that's because people prefer not to talk about their anxieties before Christmas, plus we're all busy, and buried in the build-up and all the expectations. You can keep yourself afloat with all the nonsense.

But then there's a crash when it's all over - and we start getting more calls - and that's what we can all prepare for.

Our advice to people is to give themselves opportunities this week to reflect on what and who will be missing and take time to do that in a safe place and at the right time, so it might be easier to deal with on Christmas Day.

Everyday is suicide prevention day and we encourage people to get what is on the inside out and talk to someone - whether it's a helpline, family member or friend - or maybe ask the question if your family and friends are okay.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men aged up to 50 across the North and we can all do more to change that because talking saves lives.Matthew Smith is the founder of the If U Care Share charity.