How we can help ourselves shrug off the winter blues and be more positive - Daxa Patel

Yes the immune system is compromised but there is often an underlying emotional cause which we humans have a challenge accepting. 2023 for me marks ten years since my father died. I am going to reach the 10th anniversary of his death this December.

No big deal, anniversaries come and go but it is to me, deep down I am looking at the journey I have been on and how I do not recognise myself now.

Looking at it in a positive way, I am recognising that like with most things in my life, I winged my way through grief and loss, and like the phoenix I have risen from the ashes. I will not go any deeper otherwise there is a danger I will do just the opposite of making an effort to get by. So, when we find ourselves in a dip where we feel sad or can’t shake off the sense of hopelessness, what can we do to help ourselves? I tend to first spend some time in the negative valley, not necessarily reinforcing those thoughts and emotions that come and go in waves, but more as an observer.

I stay with it and if I can brave it, I might let it slip to a close friend that I have lost my compass. It is important to recognise however it is you are feeling, stay there and if possible try to articulate it by saying it to someone you trust, who has the ability to listen.

Afterwards, there is no quick fix, yes we can look around and tell ourselves that so many are worse off than ourselves so we should feel blessed, sometimes that does not help either. Allow yourself to just be where you are. Make an effort to eat something that is appetising even if you are forcing yourself and sleep.

Have you ever wondered how most of us are struggling to turn off our overactive minds due to the constant distractions around us?

Experts on sleep will tell you that sleep is an essential way to cut ourselves some slack from our daily grind so we can rest, replenish and heal. The other day, I just did that. I slept in the afternoon, not something I would normally do but I needed it.

My next strategy, get out and go for long walks. I am fortunate, I have a big dog who needs lots of exercise and thanks to him I have no choice. Long walks are therapeutic and cleansing. I never take my mobile phone with me usually because this is the only chance I get to be in the present moment.

The mind is by its very nature active, and often destructive if we do not rein it in. Our thinking and feelings can be habitual. Have you ever driven the same route from A to B and wondered how you got there? Yes, we are mostly on autopilot, to break this an effort is needed to be in either a creative space or in nature where man-made things are not at your disposal to distract you.

We are all unique and we have different tastes so there is no one size fits all, but I walked through this these past few days after a rather long time and it made me aware that we can help ourselves by reaching into our own tool box.

Daxa Manhar Patel is a solicitor, author and executive coach.